My Own Pen

Sometimes when I’m alone -- I start to think --- Had I not been an addict --- What could I have been? What kind of life could I have given my children? Of course these are questions not yet answered --- A work in progress so to speak Not a day goes by --- That I don’t think about doing a shot --- To release myself from this pain, shame and guilt Because when I’m high I don’t think about any of that I think only of myself --- What I want and how I’m going to get it I thank the Lord --- For delivering me --- From that way of thinking --- I thank him for the gift --- That gives me the chance --- To reach out to others --- Almost every poem I write --- Comes from the bottom of my heart --- And the very depths of my soul --- Very seldom do I allow myself The pleasures of writing a simple poem -- That doesn’t carry with it a very profound message See, I’m just like Jake and Elwood Blue’s --- I am on a mission from God --- God has transformed me into a poet teacher The only way I can make any sense out of my life Is by doing what I’m doing right now Which of course is --- Nothing less than --- ---Owning up to my own mistakes --- For the world to see Thus allowing me to answer --- The responsibility of my own pen ---