My Life Is Not a Joke

It's not easy to put yourself out like this sabatoge your fantasies and write down life experiences glad you are enjoying my 15 year nervous breakdown but you are laughing at my life and why i write is to inform you my life is not a joke I am a human being who tries probably harder than you who sees the blessings in everything and its unfortunate for soo many they see so few it's not easy to inform an apathetic world whats going on in my life and not take it personal when you laugh at my attempts at talking myself out of suicide Talk about ripping my heart open to give you a laugh you write such pretty creative things i write in an attempt to heal the whole statement here is my life is not a joke but obviously its humorous and in time i will learn to put up another wall i'm sure whatever joke i am fits me like a glove One of the few things stopping me from giving the world what i thought god wanted from me and now i'm going to stop just thought i would inform you my pain to me is very real ignorance is bliss i guess and i can't take that from you but its been taken from me I learned the hard way not to trust anyone love is a trick to get someone else to do what you want a disease is something you get when someone doesn't love you back mental anguish and confusion of self medicating go hand in hand leave you to surrender to the realisation those ennabling you with street remedies are trying to kill you and those are facts the whole point of writing this lately anyway, is to show myself im not a joke you want something funny, go look at the other online books i've written and laugh at that My last attempt at having faith in the world i guess it shouldn't come so easy to someone totally destroyed emotionally and mentally and my diagnosis I get it now it's funny lost to myself again my life isn't a joke but im sure the punchline of my death will be attractive to every comedian