My Friend Jim Beam

My Friend Jim Bean The highway signs go by so fast. The whole damn night had been a blast. There's a red light chasing behind me and wouldn't you know it I could barely see. Driving blind drunk and all over the road. It's amazing how much your skills erode. I was drinking all night at the local bar. Should have called a taxi but I was driving my car. I was dancing with a girl who had a perfect ass. When I thought about her it made me step on the gas. At first I thought this must be a bad dream. But there between my legs was my friend Jim Beam. I grabbed that bottle and took a big swig and ole Jim convinced me I could ditch this pig. Took a quick turn down a one way street when I saw something ahead I didn't want to meet. Right in front of me someone turned on the brights. It was an 18 wheeler and I was in his headlights. Right before we hit I made the car swerve. Barely got around him when I hit a hair-pin curve. Slammed on the brakes and started spinning around. Must have looked like my car was a merry-go-round. Didn't hit a thing and when I came to a stop. My thoughts once again returned to ditching that cop. I even yelled something stupid like you'll never catch me copper. But I almost gave up when I thought I saw a helicopter. The cop chasing me must have freaked when he saw that truck. Probably thought he was dead but you wouldn't believe his luck. He drove right into a ditch and got launched into the air and I felt so helpless all I could do was stare. It looked like a helicopter his car in the sky. The way it looked to me was he was gonna die. I thought about his family and got real upset. If he died I knew God wouldn't let me forget. Only a miracle could keep him from harm. Then I noticed his car was headed straight for this barn. Right up in the hayloft is where his car went and it landed real nice without a scratch or a dent. Cop was hooting and hollering when he got out of his car. Screaming something about being a shooting star. Before I pulled out I gave him a honk and a wave. Thanking the Lord I didn't have to put flowers on his grave.