Missing Thorn

I've got this thorn and it stuck to my brain. Doctors called it a tumor because it was one heck of a pain. Though it made me laugh and formed tears in my eye, but doctors said it was time to kiss it goodbye. Yesterday, the thorn was pulled out. It didn't hurt much, all said was an "ouch". But now there's a hole in my brain - and it hurts even though the doc. said he had scrape off all the dirt. I want the thorn back in my head... it stopped the blood from leaking when I lay down my bed; it filled in the empty gap and made me more firm. I want it, I need it. This feeling...what is the term?