Mir

Every die I wake up, feeling like I am going to die.. Waking up to die.. Or is it to live but is living really just dying, or visa versa.. For those who think too much. Perhaps we should just consider it nothing… And for all that mumbo jumbo that seems worthwhile, It hardly means anything at all, cause that is not what makes people happy.. What is it.with all this money. And superficial dopamine in our brains. But nothing as much as a metaphysical god provides… Or the gods what have you…whichever one you chose… and so really I am indeed supposed to do be doing something in which my mind means nothing.. After having left the gym with smelly shoes and sitting across from a girl in the library I find to be beautiful, as well as her name.. In a cubicle kind of like the cardboard boxes they give you in elementary to teach you not to cheat… But really unless you are a true egg head how do you get ahead otherwise.. And not fall behind.. Always behind something like closed doors naked as Adam because in the reality of things it is, what is really what is comfortable as long as there is no one there to judge you for it.. Unless you are as narcissistic as myself and then you just may be the greatest critic of all… But who cares God? I have been asking him? But in truth I don’t know as I have really chosen the right one …and if in case I have; I find him/her to be very mysterious and so..I ask myself two very serious questions… What is good from bad….??? And…am I living or dying? ----in all reality drunken angst...but shhhh.