Mighty Low Right Now

Have everyone undergo a security clearance investigation. Have to present complete copy of college transcripts. Have to take MMPI, Stanford Benet Coder Interest, Miller Analogies and Rorschach Inkblot test to determine how much color blindness they have. Have to analyze and prepare a paper on Nature of Prejudice by Gordon Alport. Have to present all Federal, State and Local tax returns. Have to present all medical records. Have to complete paper on why you want to be President. Have a complete credit report presented to everyone. Have prepared a paper regarding your statistical analytical ability. Have the decency not to criticize or complain about someone else. Have proven your ability to be an outstanding parent. Have prepared a paper regarding what you think about racism, fascism, sexistism, prejudicism, mysogenism,  anti-Christ and Birtherism. Have prepared a paper on how to handle stress  in various situations and conditions. Have prepared paper on your thoughts pertaining to God and Bible. Have prepared a paper regarding economic analysis of current economic condition using PERT charts, Analysis of Variance, Input-Output studies, shift share analysis and correlation study of conservatism as related to liberalism. Prepare a paper regarding your attitude towards veterans affairs, military conditions, Gold Star Families, GI Bill and VA loans. Have prepared a paper regarding effects of Civil War and Team of Rivals on America. Have been thoroughly analyzed by a group of psychiatrists from the Mayo Clinic.