Me Without My Rifle, I Am Nothing

Metal never pierced flesh or bones Ligaments weren’t shattered in dashing haste Not decorated with purple stones For my heart hid from that waste Sand and fear my tongue still taste Born to die in hellish fire Infernal flame, spirit crushed ready for Assured last breath, in deathly mire I shut down and lay in war Thoughts race, scream and roar I’m afraid Escaped the valley of abyss Return to applauds and cheers All is well they claim and hiss But I’m clothed in heavy years In stormy sands, all's unclear Did I cease to be? So much loss for what was fought My humanity Walking dead in thought Wilting heart was caught Won’t let most too close Then they’d see Moisture trails that only froze Can’t contain the mine that bleeds Vulnerable to evil Deeds So I pretend to feel Watch as they laugh and sing Being human taught to kill Focused on how to life they cling Waiting for my time to spring What am I without my rifle To do what I was trained Taking life was mere trifle Do I cease to be again Letting go of this friend But how, but how I was raised to end life For those I loved with strong vows For those who don’t know strife We were sacrificed Letting go, the roaring sea Placing weapon down, reaching honesty I lay with peace and feel the touch of God Emerge from that desperate fog I see as a child Staked rifle down for the vine to grow awhile I am clean All is not what it seemed