Ode To the Incredible, Edible Lobster

Under the depths below the deep of this Atlantic Ocean, live the lobsters that crawl and creep with an articulated motion. They thrive on the ocean’s sea floor, from the sloping shoreline to beyond the Great Shelf and more, where the sea reeks of brine. They live and hide in crevices and burrows under rocks, snug amidst the interstices, safe like a shepherd’s flocks. Their diet is omnivorous: live prey such as fish, worms, crustaceans, mollusks—and us! (Ughh! that part makes us squirm.). Stories of their longevity are passed on more often than not; some live to be seventy years old, when finally caught. Long-bodied, with muscular tails, ten walking legs (three pairs of which are claws), framed in hard shells, they can look like bugbears; and weigh as much as forty pounds (or more)! A lobster this huge naturally dumbfounds and astounds, like some hoax or a subterfuge. Believe it or not, back before the mid-nineteenth century, lobster was a food for the poor,— a mark of want and penury. Indeed, inmates disliked lobster so much, they ate it with distaste; even a dignified mobster could not eat it with a straight face! It seems our ancestor’s distaste for this invertebrate was in error and was misplaced, much to their discredit. People today enjoy this beast in several, delicious ways: alone, or together in a feast as part of festive holidays. When boiled or steamed live, they change color within several minutes of cooking from blue to deep-orange,— Ah! the meat’s now so exquisite. Enjoy it as “Lobster Newberg,” a seafood dish du jour (cooked up by Captain Ben Wenberg)! Or as “Lobster Thermidor,” a French seafood dish of creamy blend of cooked lobster meat, egg yolks, some cognac, and brandy, and Gruyére—a culinary feat! Then there’s lobster soup and rolls, a thick cream soup of bisque, or Capòn magro—salad bowls for your gastric pleasure and risk! Lobster du jour or lobster you want, whatever your palate requires; any New England restaurant can fulfill your dining desires! Lobsters are indeed a great food; we fish, sell, buy, eat them to such large amounts! But we’d be unshrewd, if we eat and fish them too much. Please save them for Earth and the deep, so that the Atlantic Ocean always has lobsters that crawl and creep with an articulated motion.