Let It Be

One messed up thing after another and get put down by my brother: Everyone knows my life better than me. But no one is here to help me up off my knee. I'm tired of being pushed back down; I can't pull myself back up in this town. Why can't I forget and get on with my life? Cause I've been torn to pieces and stabbed with a knife. Everyone has their opinion of me. But no one takes the time to understand and see. I am the one to blame for all that was done. I need to be numb...so my feelings are none. Quit saying I can make it...just need to stay strong. I'm doing everything I can to keep plugging along, not being strong. I don't deserve to get through with all these emotions and thoughts that I brew, I will just continue to fill all this pain. Knowing all along I am the one to blame, a mom is supposed to protect her child. Now she might have to testify at his trial... He continues to cause all this grief I wish him dead...then maybe I could breathe. He has no right...he should have to pay with his life. For doing things to her...the a man does to a wife. Everyone wants me to overcome this horrible bind. I am trying but sometimes I feel intertwined. Being in a relationship with someone so heinous, especially with him. I feel this is outrageous. I should have left when he started taking my freedom, acting like I was a servant in his kingdom. Why did I stay when he started being so possessive? Instead I let it go even when he got aggressive. I was so blind...didn't see any sexual abuse signs. Leaving her home, while I went to work...with him at times. This was me...putting her in this mess. I pray she will overcome this and be a success. She is the strong one that keeps me going. The power she has without even knowing. The pain is more than her share. This life of hers is so unfair. This is why I keep moving along. She keeps going on strong.