Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes life feels permanent like the stench of liquor on alcoholics Trapped in a monotonous existence ever searching for an escape Because I'm sick of feeling inadequate, sick of feeling unworthy, Sick of feeling undeserving of a life far better than the one I'm living Everyone tries to convince me that I'm some evil chick With an attitude straight from the underworld I know better than that The dissatisfaction I feel during my waking hours Makes me long for the realms of my dreams I can't remain in a state of hibernation so I'm left standing still Waiting for the next emotionally crippling moment I have no idea what to do except talk to God But sometimes it feels like my prayers are lost in a whirlwind of many others Whose situations are far more dire than my existential crisis My vices are used as devices to entice me to temptations That distract me from my own mediocrity Blinding my eyes to the fact that I'm greater than anything I can imagine These are the thoughts that haunt my mind When insomnia has its way with me Wondering about my patience and when it will kick in Wondering when people will understand I'm doing my best I'm a fragile girl filled to the brim with disappointment Trying to keep my head above water Because it feels like Katrina just blew in And the levys are malfunctioning