i stand here my back against the wall, nearly defeated, sedated physically, mentally well and alive. Death threatening to cease the beating of my heart, my blood runs cold, i pray, lord please allow me to die. These trials and twisted tribulations you predict have hardened my soul, my body has been bruised, battered and torn. I feel as if i too have carried a wooden cross, been persecuted by my peers and now i too wear a crown of thorns. My life is held
Within your hands, my death within Lucifer’s, a war i alone will stand and fight, though sadly will not win. I am conscious of the consequences i must serve, it is surviving eternity i cannot contemplate, or fathom the sins you must forgive. Sinfully i have walked your righteous path, morally i hold contempt prisoner within my heart, my faith diseased, walls constructed and built. You alone share my darkest regrets, my unshared secrets, you
Recognize that in my mind i have raped, cheated, plundered and repeatedly killed. To serve you i must repent, completely turn from my ways, fall to my knees, pray, trust only in you, born again, and then saved. To walk hand and hand with you, sadistically i must suffer, shed blood, be horribly mocked, betrayed and ironically enter heaven’s gate through a six foot grave. My back is against the wall, a decision must be made, live for you or as you promised spend eternity in the lakes of fire burning, screaming, forever in pain. Demented though isn’t it, it seems like a reflection of my life, the only difference lord, these flames can be extinguished if only you would allow it to rain. I stand here naked, vulnerable, offering you a glimpse, a very open and deadly game of truth or dare. The simple truth, i cannot believe my head is bowed right this moment, the dare if you choose to accept, lord, please make this my last prayer.
Copyright © Thomas Gieseler | Year Posted 2010