Incredible Product Warnings

Incredible Product Warnings By Elton Camp Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping” Thinking of putting a curl in your colon or tongue? “For external use only,” on curling iron is hung This most would know, you certainly would think: On toilet: “Recycled flush water is unsafe to drink.” If anyone did, the result would give dentists a thrill “Electric rotary tool is not for use as a dental drill.” A 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel this caution did produce: Buyers were firmly told, “Not intended for highway use” Anyone one who does this would probably be a goner: Note on a laser printer cartridge: “Do not eat toner.” And it was on a coffee cup this warning we did spot: It so clearly stated, “Caution: Hot beverages are hot” On a Frisbee the following warning we did see: “Warning: May contain small parts.” Can it be? If to clean your teeth, you happen to be in a rush, “Do not use orally,” we once saw on a toilet brush To do nothing at all with it is all that you can choose: On battery: “Do not recharge, put in backward or use” And just in case you previously did this unwisely try, Is said: “Do not look into laser with remaining eye” Disregard this warning and quite bad results you get: In microwave manual: “Do not use for drying pet.” For just one single use the maker does give the nod “For use on animals only,” is written of a cattle prod “For use by trained personnel only” the warning note On a can of air freshener someone very plainly wrote Sign on a Boeing 757 much careless handling does stop: Gives the necessary warning as “Fragile. Do not drop” Thinking of putting your kid away for rest of the day: “Remove infant before folding” baby stroller does say And then whether they are used for days or for nights: “For indoor or outdoor use only,” on Christmas lights On child’s Superman costume this warning we did spy: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly” To already know, surely most would have gumption On a package of dice: “Not for human consumption” “Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand” Its need on a chainsaw is pretty hard to understand “May be harmful if swallowed” the caution read Of a shipment of hammers, though, it was said Since such a thing almost nobody would have expected, “Warning: May contain nuts” for peanut bag was selected