I Wish I Had a Happy Story To Tell

I wish I had a happy story to tell I wish it were the color of orange blossoms I wish my body were not my jail I wish…I wish I had a happy story to tell I love him So I let him grab my wrist As he led me away I love him I told myself again I was struggling to keep up as he Was dragging me to my feet You see I had let myself fall I must have lost my balance When he slammed me against the wall I love him I wanted to believe But my tears kept me from seeing His weight kept me from breathing And his hand kept me from screaming So I yelled instead in my head That I loved him My body pressed against the bed I love him How ironic I had worn A pretty white dress For a pretty white mess I had not imagined that this would be my end But I love him I told myself again And as his knee bruised my inner thigh My voice was lost within a cry He’d forgotten to undo his belt So I took the opportunity to yell And for a moment I could not see As if a hot cup of water had been poured over me I began to drown in it But then I found in it Not the water he chose But instead a broken nose I love him, now harder to believe Please don’t I mouthed a silly symphony Please don’t Was my silent soliloquy Please don’t And then it was as if the world were in slow motion I saw every emotion Run through his face As he pushed me away Could it be that he was setting me free Unused just as before I lay crumpled on the floor And saw his iron boots heading to me He stood there – the embodiment of all my fears Careful to avoid my puddle of blood and tears He said nothing but stood over me And with one swift kick He destroyed everything that was left of me Then he walked out the door Down the hall And far away Leaving behind in his wake A girl so useless Not even a proper victim for a rape But that girl is gone now She has been replaced By another with a stronger face A louder growl And quite a bite One who will always put up a fight Until she finds that you are worthy Until you are witness to her glory Then and only then Will she tell you this story