I Wish

I wish I could go back, Back to the days when I was well. Those days when I could run, Climb a wall or drive a car. I long for the days when I could walk alone, With no need of a stick or mobility aid. I wish I could make you see, The constant ache in my body. The sharp stabbing aches, Or the dull throbbing. I ache for the days when I didn't need pills, Pills that keep me semi functional. I aim for a time outside of myself, Out of my head and into life. To laugh and with joy, Play with my children and husband. I always feel broken inside, Pushing through to always aim to be more. More than I was, More than I am now. Suffering in a body that looks healthy, Yet inside is riddled with illness. I scream inside 'I AM HERE', Yet too drained to say it out loud.