I Thought You Loved Me

When you told me you didn't love me I didn't know what to do I didn't know how to react Because I remember what it felt like When I thought you wanted me I remember when you took me To what I thought was our first date I remember smiles and laughs and midnight texts A bright little light hidden under blankets As I lay awake in bed waiting for your reply It made me feel like a child again Staying up late and doing something I shouldn't be Doing something that I know would only end in trouble I remember the first time you held my hand I remember when I thought this This is what love really is I remember the exact moment I fell for you When I thought you caught me But in reality you were just letting me fall Deeper and deeper and deeper With no intentions of saving me With no intentions of telling me no Because you were attracted to me You told me this You showed me this I remember the first time we I want to say made love but that wasn't really it So I remember the first time we had sex It was something beautiful Again I thought this, this is what love feels like. I remember meeting your family Your mother and father smiling and telling silly stories Your brothers asking questions As you cooked a meal for us all That was my favorite memory You started to take me on more "Dates" I remember red robin, Polaris, late night movies and cedar point I remember when these started disappearing When you stopped trying to cover up lust with love I remember tangled bed sheets And messy hair I remember sleepy eyes And a soft voice saying "you're beautiful" I remember me believing you Thinking that you meant it I gave you my heart Because I realized you actually did find me beautiful But that was all you found My beauty blinding your judgement Thinking my love was lust You thinking I wanted this too Because there doesn't need to be any Love in attraction You can give away your body Without the person wanting anything else I don't blame you anymore It was an easy mistake to make I mean girls give sex to get love after all And men give love to get sex I remember the day you told me you didn't love me I remember the day you told me I was beautiful I remember the day I lost my ability to love anymore Because I gave away my heart to a man who had no intentions of giving it back 6/14/2015