I Have No Life

I have no life. My social status had been destroyed after high school graduation and I've been depressed since the age of 13. All of my friends have left my life for good. I'm trying to cope, or better yet, deal with these changes, but I just have mixed feelings about them. I have no life because I've wasted my time thinking about the past, instead of looking at the future. Over the years, I've experienced heartbreak, after heartbreak, after heartbreak. When all of the girls of my dreams have been taken by other guys before I had a chance to talk to them, I almost lost it. And when I found out that girls my age had real boyfriends already and/or already married to their husbands with children, I almost flipped and I cried; like, sobbing; in tears. It's like somebody has stolen someone special from me. It's also like I matter to no one. And on top of all that, it's like someone took a butcher knife out of the kitchen, stabbed me right in the abdomen, plunged another butcher knife right into my chest, and ripped---nay---yanked my heart out; killing me in an instant. This type of rejection is sad, depressing, and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I can't do that. There's nothing that I can do to change the past; it's already done. This isn't what I had in mind. Right now, I wish that things were better if I hadn't been rejected one to many times and I were to walk into someone else's shoes.