I Didnt I Didnt--Trevor Depugh

Dear God, I didn't cast you out, I didn't. I didn't. Are you listening God? Do you hear me. I'm echoing. Repeating...repeating...repeating...repeating...repeat/...eat/...eat/...eat// Dear God, I didn't cast you out, I didn't. I didn't. STOP! Gain control of your thoughts. Say what you've called to say... Dear God... Dear God... Dear God, I'm struggling to find the right words. Stuck between my anger and my fear. My mind is collapsing, Nothing is ever crystal clear. I watched him walk away. He didn't even say goodbye. Dear God, I'm sitting here, with his wood shop project in my hands, The last thing he made before he had to drop out. His favorite band. On the back he wrote a note. I'll always love you little sis, Love big bro. Dear God, I didn't know he was going to leave, I could have stopped him, Why did you let him leave me? I could have blocked him. Why did he choose not to speak. Dear God, don't let my brother go away. He's the only one I really have left. For him, I would give up the rest. For him I would use my last breath. For him, I'd take a bullet in the head. For him I'd take a knife lodged in my chest. For him, I would change the world. The petals of my hope wilt and curl. Dear God, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't cast you out. Why God, Why. Did you turn your back and fill me with doubt.