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Haiku 11

Timothy Hicks Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Haiku 11 which was written by poet Timothy Hicks. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haiku 11

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  1. Date: 4/24/2013 3:25:00 PM
    yes, I came to this one that I saw before. I still likes it! Just wanted to tell you thanks for your interesting comments you leave me, They are very original and enjoyable. So much better than the copy paste congratulations we get here. yes, 55 was sure an awesome year to be born in. I wanted you to know I am not in the bad shape of my blasted tree, in case you were thinking maybe I was. I tend to dramatize my health. (bad and unexplained shoulder pain is about the worst I've got!)

  1. Date: 3/21/2013 1:40:00 PM
    I love all of your haikus, they are so good!!

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/21/2013 10:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Anne... you're too kind! :D
  1. Date: 3/20/2013 3:19:00 PM
    timothy, I had gotten the "oceans apart" metaphor and thought it worked just as well. Sorry if my teasing comment had anything to do with your changing it. This works too!! Oh, and I TRIED to get a water bed but my husband got the kind that is "waveless" when we were first married. and that kind sucks!!!

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/20/2013 8:22:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    No worries Andrea! Your comment had nothing to do with me changing it... Debbie was giving me advice about writing haiku which is supposed to be more objective... where as the previous version was subjective (if that makes any sense)... but rest assured it didn't have anything to do with you... lol.
  1. Date: 3/19/2013 11:38:00 PM
    I know this is not meant to be funny but we have this California King size bed so it is VERY roomy and often we are way on other sides, just because it's so comfy and my new cat is often smack in the middle of our pillows! Also, this would be a really cool haiku if they were on a water bed!

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/20/2013 11:06:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Ha! You're very clever dear Andrea! My parents used to have a waterbed and when I was little I absolutely LOVED that bed. Sorry to disappoint but I did just edit that last line now... I've been having some trouble writing this one, lol.
  1. Date: 3/19/2013 8:20:00 PM
    For me Haiku is the most difficult form. Debbie is very knowledgeable and can help steer you in the right direction.

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/19/2013 8:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Having read some of her haiku I can see she's been writing them for awhile. The biggest milestone for me was realizing that the 5-7-5 syllable count limits the potential of haiku and constricts your way of thinking. It's better not to think in syllables but the ideas your few words present...
  1. Date: 3/19/2013 6:55:00 PM
    Hi new friend I ponder the ocean being in the same frame as the bed? the setting is the bedroom the action is leaning...if you wish to show her coldness to his approach you need a different line 3. [ a body pillow stops me] Light & Love

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/19/2013 8:06:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hi Debbie. I appreciate your honesty and advice on my haiku... the ocean was metaphorical, referring to the "distance" between them... if someone looks at it in a more provocative way the ocean could symbolize sweat. I so love to read genuine comments... so thank you! :)
  1. Date: 3/19/2013 4:07:00 PM
    Hello Timothy, I'm wondering what the crossing ocean image is about... he he.. after reading your haiku number 6... you are truly a good and clever poet, who likes to be legit with the imagery.... always~ LINDA

    Hicks Avatar Timothy Hicks
    Date: 3/19/2013 4:33:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    LOL! The ocean line was meant to be metaphoric, but I can see now how it could mean "other" things. Always love to read your comments...