Gateway To Forgiveness

I never meant to hurt you! I would rather die than hurt those closest to me I am so sorry!! I can not explain why my own feelings consumed my very soul I was selfish I know Only thinking of myself and my pain at the time I hurt so bad inside Resentment... Bitterness.. Anger.. three emotions took homage in my soul I felt I was so alone at the time.... I feared reaching out How could anyone understand? What I struggled myself to understand I was so lost So confused So misunderstood My mind played tricks on me negativity consumed every fiber of my being I incapable of being positive Incapable of thinking positive I was poisoned by evil words of others and broken in half by hurtful actions I became someone who I grew to hate I told myself lies everyday If I could learn to believe others lies I felt it would hurt less I can now look back.... I know I was wrong now.... I am sorry.... I felt I was dealing with the evil that consumed me I was only causing myself more agony but I did the best I knew then I was a baby girl trying to grow up in a world I felt I never belonged I am so sorry..... but my feelings were real them I wore them on my sleeves It was how I felt at the time I just struggled so hard to love myself But deep down I always loved you I never meant to hurt you!! I should have cried on your shoulder Instead I cried in my room alone tears falling streaking across a piece of paper of ink smeared with so much pain I trusted an empty sheet of paper to keep my secrets When I should have always trusted you! I should have came to you!! I am so sorry!! Chrissy M. Pierce 2012,