Ever notice that people generally dislike being rude,
Saying someone is fat or stupid, now that’s crude,
I’ve collected and developed some sayings to stop tears,
That I’ve used to describe myself in situations over years.
Such as I am not fat, just really, really short for my weight,
Or when I’m tardy, I am really late for the starting gate,
Forgetful - I’m a straw short of a bale; a pickle short of a jar,
And the one I favour to whisper of others, always from afar
Is that “they are really not the sharpest tool in the shed”
Because I like to be kind in all things done and said.
Written August 5, 2012
Won 3rd place in Craig Cornish's contest