From Lapland To Poundland

Simon was a happy elf Who always wore a smile One of Santa's best elves Willing to go the extra mile. With trousers of green, tunic red And a bright yellow bobble hat Simon whistled a happy tune While at his workbench he sat. Answering letters to Santa From all the girls and boys Stamping Made in Lapland On all the childrens toys. For three months Simon toiled Hardly time for a rest But satisfied in the knowledge That he had given his best. But Simon's work was seasonal And soon it came to an end. So upon the shores of England Simon did decend. At the local job centre He was told he had to work He could not draw benefits If he intended to shirk. So he was sent to Poundland And stacking shelves he had to do Not really an ideal job For an elf of five foot two. Simon became sadder and sadder And considered taking pills Until he saw Santa arrive To start work on the tills. Simon was happy again Looking forward to the day When he would return to lapland On Santa's reindeer pulled sleigh.