Forgiveness

I know I need to forgive you but I don't know how, I am not Christ only he knows how ... seven times seven ...first I can't forget what you did, not saying I am innocent but I don’t think I deserve a knife in my back when I was the one carrying you. Lord seven times seven ...only you Lord know how to forgive a man that betrayed you ...Peter denied you ...Thomas doubted you and you forgave them. Lord I was betrayed by the one person that promised to love me and be committed to me ...he's stepped on my heart and crippled my soul and now you telling me about forgiveness ...seven times seven ....Father is only you can do that because with a knife in my back and pain in my chest I can't do that ....seven times seven ...this forgiveness thing is only for you Christ, you are the only good man ...Father seriously...seven times seven ...I can't even tell you how this man lied...he's the devil's child I don't know how to forgive him ...he doesn’t deserve it ...but wait a minute, he has moved on and I am hurting still...I guess forgiveness is not about him but about me healing...so I forgive you only because it’s about me healing.