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Faded Thoughts

Thoughts how they fade from white to gray, and the memories we made, turned to dust just today. Ashes we smoked and the dreams we dreamt, all DIED in your arms and I wept... -and wept. Please forgive me- believe me when I say I am sorry- I feel sad for you but not as sad as I feel for me. Self pity is a disease, but it puts me at ease, and I just wish these flea's, would get off my bleeding back. If I could paint you a river, I'd swim to your shore, mend all I tore... ...now it's you that I lack. It has always been you... ALWAYS been you... you were my envelope, you were my flu, you cut me apart because you made me whole, I'm sorry I stole...your heart... -your heart... NA in CONTEST NO 204 any form-theme max of 16 lines Judged September 17, 2016 For contest: Screwed XVI Date Written: September 26, 2015

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James Inman

Date: 3/9/2017 7:08:00 AM

Relationships are difficult. Nice write.

Mark Martin

Date: 3/8/2017 4:22:00 PM

Congratulations on your win Laura! :-)

Eve Roper

Date: 3/8/2017 1:52:00 PM

Well done and profound congratulations on you win ~*

Constance La France

Date: 3/8/2017 8:25:00 AM

Laura, this poem is so beautifully penned, I love the words, the pattern, the image, I love everything about it. Congratulations on your placement in Rob's contest~

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/28/2016 3:35:00 PM

Oh, Laura, I had NOT seen it after all, and I see why you are so fond of this one. It's so sad, and the way you wrote it, we really feel you emoting. I enjoyed the rhyme in it, not always at the end lines either. Wonderful writing!

Lu Loo
Date: 1/28/2016 4:27:00 PM

Thank you lovely lady Andrea :) Have a blessed day :)

Viv Wigley

Date: 11/4/2015 12:12:00 AM

A very moving piece, Laura, but tempered with the soothing balm that all ended happily, eventually. Congrats! Viv

Lu Loo
Date: 11/4/2015 1:22:00 PM

Thank you Viv!! :) -LU

Robert Lindley

Date: 11/3/2015 5:48:00 PM

A very fine poem my friend, congrats on your win!

Lu Loo
Date: 11/3/2015 8:20:00 PM

Thank you Robert :) Be blessed -LU

Eve Roper

Date: 11/3/2015 1:57:00 PM

Wow! Beautiful, Laura, congratulations on your win! Hugs Eve

Lu Loo
Date: 11/3/2015 3:30:00 PM

Thank you Eve! :)

Skat A

Date: 11/3/2015 1:05:00 PM

Laura, Congratulations on your Any Sad Poem win. LOVE **SKAT**

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 11/3/2015 2:07:00 AM

Yet another wonderful poem n win Laura.. big congrats!

Lu Loo
Date: 11/3/2015 1:01:00 PM

Thank you so much :)

Balveen Cheema

Date: 10/6/2015 11:07:00 AM

A rhytmical flow in your poetry , Laura!

Lu Loo
Date: 10/18/2015 6:02:00 PM

Thank you very much :)

Skat A

Date: 9/27/2015 5:51:00 PM

Laura, the flow is wonderful and deep. Thoughts how they fade, from white to gray, And the memories we made, turned to dust just today. I chose this line because the imagery and language suggest behind every fading moment is guilt. A disease of self-pity. I like your use of repetition (wept and wept) it gives off a very serious and frantic mood when reading the poem. By the way, this has been the best poem I read today. 9-27-15. SKAT

Lu Loo
Date: 9/27/2015 5:59:00 PM

Thank you SKAT A. Your words make me feel so good because I'm so new at this. I've never shown my poems to anyone but my fam. It was a little scary at first, but I'm getting better at not being so self-conscience. Thank you :)

Skat A
Date: 9/27/2015 5:51:00 PM

A Favorite by the way

Mark Woods

Date: 9/26/2015 8:48:00 PM

Laura go to the contest page go to the contest and press the enter contest button then scroll down and select your poem. Drop us a line if you struggle. All the best

Lu Loo
Date: 9/26/2015 9:14:00 PM

Great Thank You so much!!! have a great night!!