Forget

Oh, how I’d like to forget, walkin in with you on the bed. You appeared to me as though you were asleep, But little did I know you were already deceased. Never seen you the night before, was scared I’d get beat, to avoid you yelling at me, and trying to keep the peace. I wish I could forget those memories, They're burned in my brain and still in my dreams. If I could have just one wish for me, I'd wish for just one day that you could be here with me. Even though according to you I was a disappointment, I wonder if I was also your regret. I always let you down, everything was my fault, I said and meant that I was sorry, and yet it never stopped. If only... If only... I could rewire my brain, And forget all the memories that cause me pain. Because of you I have this fear, I want to be angry but I end up scared. Apart of me always wanted to say “F-off,” Even though I love you and miss you a lot. When you died I never had the chance to stand up to you to say things I needed to say, I still have a lot of pent up anger and pain. And this bottle inside me is about to break. How dare you leave us when you did! Did you know that it was going to happen? Why did you keep so many secrets from dad and me? Why this way, did it have to be? I want to be angry.... but I just cant, You made me stronger, yet gave me half a chance. No more.... Fore I'll get carried away, So at peace... I hope you are and will stay.