For Love 11

i step from the shower i think of u i wrap my wet hair in a towel i wonder about u i sit in my favorite chair in the middle of the night everything looks as if its in slow motion and my heartbeat is tripled and thudding the echo of missing u i smoke a cigarette and look at the inactive computer screen i make my bed, i feed the cats and i dust the bedside table i pick up a book, but i only manage three pages my mind is wrapped aroung the idea of u and its worse, i think because i know u are out there in the world wherever ur city sits and u live and breathe there, while i am suffocating here i slowly put on my makeup hoping a few more minutes might give u the time to say "hello, i miss you too" i need to work, and i need to fake that im okay i take a final breath and hope my eyes wont betray me tonight even while im taking off everything for them im only hoping for a little something from you even as i give them the sight of my body i wish for u to have the feel of my heart in your hands i struggle through the hours minutes are quicksand that im stepping in and every silent moment is a knife in my chest, my throat, my gut i haltingly lay my head onto a pillow as the sun comes up and i dont want to close my eyes because there u will be, waiting, and i will remember every smile and laugh and word i fall into restless sleep theres nothing to calm my heart in these times u are too far away u are the only remedy i dream i think of u i wake i think of u