Fireworks Mishaps

(This is a fictional poem) On July the 4th I decided to light a firecracker with my cigarette. It was something I soon lived to regret. I accidentally threw my cigarette to the ground and put the firecracker in my mouth. It exploded and all of my teeth came flying out. After lighting a roman candle, the contents came down and burned off my hair. Now my head is bald and scorched and everybody stares. A bottle rocket flew up my shorts and blew off one of my nads. Now I walk with a cane and I sure am mad. I'm bald, sterile and I can no longer taste. I'm not the man I used to be. What a waste.