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Fading Away

I open my eyes Everything spinning Bouncing softly with each step someone takes My head throbbing Wet hot tears on my face Sweat running into my eyes Strapped into the car Blackness... Beep, beep, beep My eyes flutter open Bright lights protrude my vision Every thing seems to be swaying My heart seems to be in my head I think back Really hard What happened Where am I Nothing... The muffled voices of my parents Arguing as usual Footstep getting louder and louder Until I think my head will explode Then silence I hear, just snips of the conversation outside Doctor...concussion...stay...amnesia...brain damage... Then things fade again...

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 8/9/2009 10:29:00 AM
I could take several interpertations from this one and don't know exactly what you wanted to convey. One thing is that I am sure this person is facing death. Very descriptive and emotional writing. Keep writing. Sara
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Date: 8/8/2009 5:00:00 PM
This must surely be what it is like in our final moments. Your poem made me wonder once more how aware my father may or may not have been when the doctor's read his living will and told us to pull the plug. Captivating, intriguing read! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 8/8/2009 1:05:00 PM
Ooh, quite a vivid picture painted here and no happy ending.. Enjoyed, cheers.
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Date: 8/8/2009 12:36:00 PM
This is a great piece! Good work and well felt suspense!- eddie
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Book: Shattered Sighs