Expecting You

middle of the night high on cocaine cigarette smoking in the ashtray beside me upset frustrated my heart aches it hurts it beats irregularly i can feel the burn in my chest from the stress and anxiety and confusion and pain she said she was coming home at 2am it is now 4:30am and she’s at a party I felt it in my chest before she told me i knew it i sensed it i sensed something was in the works and I guess she felt it needed to be hidden behind the curtain she could have told me anytime that her plans were changing i lay my head down at 3:00am expecting her to walk through the door ...nothing I wait in bed, thinking random thoughts not being able to relax due to the fact that I am expecting her she keeps me waiting my mind continues to race i feel disrespected when someone states they are doing something then they do the opposite why did you say this to me? why did you keep wondering? I care so much for you that the pain felt dealt by your actions cuts deeper than beautiful truth you are beautiful i know this is true i just can’t understand why we have this obstacle of trusting one another our relationship has been broken the cast we used healed the fracture but the pain still exists