The people who only eat lettuce
and nibble some nuts from a bowl,
are totally, utterly tiresome;
this ‘smugger-than-thou’ rigmarole.
But me? I am rather old fashioned
and faddy foods don’t pass my lips.
I’ll tell you one thing that I fancy,
a juicy great steak – and some chips.
I like a wee nip of the whisky,
a malt and I beg with no ice;
so will you just make it a double.
I don’t think I’d call it a vice.
I’m partial to wine from the Touraine,
a dry little number will do.
And then I enjoy a good claret,
all ancient and Premier Cru.
Now! Who are these creatures for supper?
Their surnames, I think I have missed.
Dear God! What a dreary young couple.
Shank goodnesh, I’ve got them both pished!
For Elliott Bowe's 'Drunken Pen' Competition.