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Below is the poem entitled Eden which was written by poet Hana Ryusaka. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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‘Twas a grey november morning
When I climbed outside my window
To see my breath like dragon’s smoke
Swirl and dance away.
‘Twas bitter cold 
That autumn day,
And sickly sun wore mourning shrouds
Though lazy earth had yet to draw
Her snowy blanket 
To her chin.

I marveled at
The tiny leaf-
The last one to remember
Summer’s happy days, 
The only one to forget
His time was done.
Yet in his small defiance-
Prideful even in the light of death-
As he clung tightly to the bough
He commanded wondering respect.

And too
The blades of grass,
Idle maidens gossiping, 
Had not lost their bright greenery
To old winter’s paling breath.
For they had done with washing
Dappled cheeks in morning dew,
Now arrayed themselves in frosty gowns
For Autumn's final dance.
With cheery feet
They turned and swayed,
Laughing in their finery,
The wind as minstrel serenading
With whistling tune 
Them all.

Until the last leaf,
Old heart breaking,
Found that he could hold no more.
Slowly down he drifted 
To the forest floor.

Then with a crashing sound was shattered
The stillness of that dark, dark morn; 
And all the maidens wept in earnest-
Rent their lovely clothes in twain.
And as I felt the old man sleeping-
Dreaming ever 
In my hand-
I knew the magic of that morning
Had been torn away.

Sure enough, earth’s yawning
Pulled upon herself the snow.
But still sometimes I think of 
Hidden in the folds of Autumn:
Longing, pining, yearning still
To whisper ancient secrets
To me.

Copyright © Hana Ryusaka

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  1. Date: 10/11/2009 4:34:00 PM
    =) Amazing indeed @.@ your use of language is impressive!! THe way your description flows so naturally...@.@ wow; thanks a lot for the experience, good luck!!=D

  1. Date: 10/9/2009 10:04:00 AM
    beautiful. your art is always such. and amazing reads. good luck. --raiin

  1. Date: 9/29/2009 7:33:00 PM
    Micaela, kudos on this selected poem going through the finals! Ruben.

  1. Date: 9/26/2009 10:40:00 AM
    Micaela, congratulations on making the first round of the contest...Raul

  1. Date: 9/25/2009 11:19:00 PM
    Congrates on your wonderful poem going through to the finals ... Love Jayne

  1. Date: 9/25/2009 12:15:00 PM
    Congratulations on making it through the first round in the contest. Good luck in the finals! Karen

  1. Date: 9/25/2009 6:06:00 AM
    Lovely just lovely perhaps you'd like my verse Autumn Filligree? Great winning choice! Light & Love

  1. Date: 9/24/2009 5:19:00 PM
    Dear Micaela, Best wishes through to the next round. Lainie. You already know I love this poem.

  1. Date: 9/24/2009 1:40:00 PM
    Congrats!! Love Light Truth Patricia

  1. Date: 9/24/2009 11:45:00 AM
    Micaela, congratulations in getting past round one of the competition >> James

  1. Date: 9/24/2009 9:48:00 AM
    Congratulations on your poem making it through the first round Micaela.Wishing you the best in the finals. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 9/23/2009 3:46:00 PM
    Wonderful write, Micaela! Congratulations on being featured this week! Ruben.

  1. Date: 9/23/2009 6:44:00 AM
    A MASTERPIECE. It is going on my favorite list. Congratulations on this well deserved feature of the week. Thank you so much for sharing, dear Micaela. You are a very gifted writer. Lainie

  1. Date: 9/22/2009 7:54:00 PM
    Micaela, congrats on your feature this week...Raul

  1. Date: 9/22/2009 6:38:00 AM
    Congratulations on your wonderful poetry being featured this week Micaela>>James

  1. Date: 9/21/2009 3:34:00 AM
    Congratulations on your well deserved poetry being featured this week Micaela. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 9/20/2009 5:48:00 PM
    Nice use of imagery for a creative view. Congratulations on having your poem featured. Keep on writing. Wishing you continued success. Karen

  1. Date: 8/26/2009 6:13:00 PM
    so very wonderful...yet the last last line disappoints...I know I'm nagging. Crack to it woman...polish the last line! Light & Love

  1. Date: 4/23/2009 6:36:00 PM
    omg this is my favourite, love your use of imagery promotion to all-star poet

  1. Date: 3/11/2009 3:09:00 PM
    '...idle maidens gossiping,' '...breath like dragon's smoke,' ...beautiful phrasing and imagery. A marvelous piece Micaela! Best wishes, Keith