Disintegration of the Heart

Disintegration of the Heart I'm almost afraid to tell you Exactly how I feel In case you laugh and mock me And my confidence steal I want to love you, truly I want you give you my heart But I am so afraid you'll abuse it And casually you'll tear it apart I dream of us being together Of two singles becoming a pair My fears, though, caution me against Daring to venture there I believe that you will hurt me Lead me on for twisted fun Then abuse and humiliate me In front of everyone Why do you treat me so badly; Do you want me to hate you? That is never going to happen It's something I just can't do I love you so much it's painful It keeps me awake at night Just give me the tiniest sign that You're willing to make this right I can't go on like this forever Needing you in my life Just say the word and I will Willingly take you for my wife I know that you are with him now But that won't last much longer My love for you is much more real Much truer and much stronger Once he's out of the picture, You will see what was meant to be That in spite of your protestations You were always meant to be with me No, I should keep my feelings to myself Even if they do make me ill If I don't I know that one I will snap And I will lash out and I'll kill It could be you or it could be him It won't matter on the day I will murder anybody who Tries to get in the way Of me getting what I want Whether by free will or by force What I want most of all, though Is your love, of course But if I cannot trust you To be honest and sincere How can we have a future together Without suspicion, dread and fear? All you have to do is tell me That you love me clear and true And I will give you everything: I'll give the world to you But if you treat me badly Behave cruelly, sneaky or sly Then you can kiss the rest of your life A very swift goodbye I love you, can't you see that? Why won't you love me as well You're driving me crazy acting like that Every day is a living hell Damn you, I love you, I hate you I want you out of my head! Go away you're evil I want you damn well dead!! ********************** I want you out of my head I want rest, I need respite I'm too tired to carry on loving you When I know it isn't right I want to die, I want to live I want peace, I want rest I really want you most of all Because, baby, you're the best But you don't even know who I am Which is why our love can never be You're my ideal, my perfect partner My dream, my ultimate fantasy.