Disgusting Neighbor

I'm being driven crazy because of my disgusting neighbor. I wish that I was Luke Skywalker because I could kill him with my lightsaber. He steals my newspapers and eggs my house. He's a lowlife punk, a moron and also a louse. When I order a pizza, he always intercepts it. He opens the pizza boxes and then he spits. Now my rotten neighbor is shouting obscenities at me and he's on my lawn. I just shot him in the crotch with my shotgun and now his privates are gone. Now my disgusting neighbor is more of a woman than a man. When he saw me with my shotgun, the lowlife should've ran. (This is a fictional poem.)