Death of a Lover

The day she left The world shattered The day I found her Splayed on the floor I went back to the winter When her and I laid side by side Making snow angels The day she stained the snow blood red I remember her holding me As I cried Like I was the one broken Like I was the one Who had a heart That could never Pump enough life into my veins I remember every moment Like it was yesterday I remember The day she told me she loved me And I didn't believe her I remember her laugh As she took my hands and smiled I remember The curve of her mouth The way it felt When she kissed me I remember That no how many times I tried I could never kiss away her demons The ghosts that creeped Into her dreams Twisting them to nightmares Invading her sleep Now she wakes up screaming I remember when I said she was beautiful And she showed me her scars for the first time I remember kissing each and every one of them Thinking my lips Could heal them Like I would fill the cracks In her life Make her whole again I remember the time I found her after her first suicide attempt Sitting in the bathroom Crying clutching the bottle of pills The way she was clutching onto her life I remember holding her that night Staying awake as she slept So I knew she was still alive I remember trying to fix her To heal the brokenness she held for so long Pulling her out of the canyon of her hurt But no matter how hard I tried She kept falling The death of a lover Is something you blame yourself for I remember thinking that I should have tried harder That I should have held her longer That I could have stopped her from leaving me But truth is she was gone Long before she met me