Damage Goodes

You see me damage And You know it's internal Yet you ride me like I'm entertainment You push my buttons You poke at my scares Knowing my scares are deeply bonded We fight more then we sleep Is There any room for peace? Even if there is for a second let us pretend Infront of our company that we're perfect With this air so thick it's suffocating me and with my anxiety I panic... I over think reaching for a Knife To cut threw this air I can't breathe You carry so much Animosity towards me consistently throw low blows towards me And I'm so bitter from the history of abuse You can't speak a kind gesture towards me without me exploding You hate me and I hate you...we're screaming In it's so exhausting physically and mentally looking at you vs. Me court cases What I don't understand at the end of each day We lay in the same bed We been down this path for years I don't want 20 years to pass and we're still here The same old lauryn hill exfactor song playing on repeat I try to get over the abuse, I tried talking about it, writing it out even bottled it, tried to swallow it The outcome of trying to hide it, just made me more bitter Tried thinking positive but everytime you speak It just makes me quiver And when you touch me a certain way my heart skips a beat The flashbacks of abuse is in red and is flashing repeatedly through my head My mom told me to pray But praying can only drive me so far until my mind starts switching lanes I have seen the stop signs but kept straight knowing I pushed you to far waiting for you to explode Im already used to you being this way But you keep throwing me Faith? I guess you did changed but it's to late you beat the hope out of me literally I'm just damage goodes