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Chilled Dawn

Carrie Richards Avatar Carrie Richards - LIFETIME Premium Member Carrie Richards - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Chilled Dawn which was written by poet Carrie Richards. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Chilled Dawn

She is shadowed by fuzzy cobwebs of a morning without coffee,
while dust motes mingle with the mold of time.
Gazing out to the yard, through dingy glass, and fog, 
into a dismal January, she hopes to catch a glimpse of the paper boy.
He travels through rain, sleet or snow, how could he understand, 
(this teen-aged Paul Revere), that in this decrepit old house, 
she is longing for a sign of youth? It has been a weary night, watching an old woman hang on by threads of life, that had worn thin years ago. 
Watching and waiting, while cold winds blew and snow was falling,  
and death was hoping to make a house call.
Any diversion, life being lived,... one brief eclipse of life in motion would be a relief.
To observe him toss the news into the sky like a Frisbee... not a care in the world
How would that feel...has she ever known? Has anyone ever been so young?
She thinks she may go mad with death and dying, with weariness, with waiting.
She suddenly shivers from a dreaded draft of frigid air, slithering in,
like a sneaky, uninvited ghost, slinking in around the rim. 

       nor'easter winds                                                roll top shoe box...
      splinter the silence..               --                     debutante' caught in amber
        a cataract view                                                   frozen sepia  

Grabbing a handful of a thread-bare doily,  she polishes the cold glass, 
rubbing vigorously in circles against the grime, 
making figure eights, in spite of frozen, stiff, fingers.  
Satisfied, that she has a decent view of the blanketed yard,
and can see clearly where the muddy, gravel driveway,
bends gradually, curving to mate with the snow banked road,
at last, she spies the old Jeep coming, and watches with automated eyes, 
yet, with some expectation, and strange excitement. 
Then, as she might have guessed,
the teenager drives hurriedly by, barely slowing down, tossing the news,
and leaving her gaze and her thoughts, splattered by dark murky water, 
while the slinging gravel that has been pitched into the sky, by his screeching tires,
falls like the pieces of the old woman's lonely life upon the pristine snow. 

For Deb's Contest: "Mix It Up"

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  1. Date: 2/12/2013 6:58:00 AM
    Very descriptive and expressive work..Enjoyed reading your winning lines...Congrats...Sara

  1. Date: 2/7/2013 10:45:00 AM
    Carrie, , Congratulations on your winning "mixed up poem." Have yourself a nice day~ :-) xox~PD

  1. Date: 2/6/2013 9:50:00 AM
    Wow! Fav'ing this. Congrats on your win, Carrie, with this amazing write. Love, Su

  1. Date: 2/6/2013 8:19:00 AM
    I like a poem with depth..and your prose has it in spades !! Fabulous haiku...both of them...tucked in at just the right spot within the verses. Congrats on a well deserved win !!

  1. Date: 2/6/2013 3:45:00 AM
    More congrats and well deserved Carrie xx

  1. Date: 2/5/2013 7:59:00 PM
    So lovely, Carrie. It makes me think that, as women, we can easily relate to her aging imperfect sight, and her frustrations surrounding death. Perhaps we shall be her one day... Hey, Congratulations, on your win in Debbie's contest! I absolutely love the way you have used both haiku tucked in neatly between your prose, and that's not all, the contrast of the haiku, youth and age. So very well done. Love and hugs, catie :)

  1. Date: 2/5/2013 6:32:00 PM
    Now you my dear gave me a wee bit more trouble LOL, that second..haiku almost sank you but the over all content was so heart wrenching! How could an old woman such as I not react? [Please stick a cut marker on the roll top haiku] Congrad's Carrie dear..on to Spring. Light & love

    Richards Avatar Carrie Richards
    Date: 2/5/2013 6:36:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    oops.....overlooked that one!! Will fix it promptly! :)
  1. Date: 2/5/2013 4:25:00 PM
    Congrats on wonderful win!

  1. Date: 1/28/2013 8:44:00 AM
    Wonderful and sad imagery. I enjoyed reading your story and being caught up in the emotion. The sign of a skilled writer.

  1. Date: 1/23/2013 7:20:00 AM
    Wow. You have outdone yourself with this one. I love this contest because it gives us a chance to see our poets write prose. Fantastic job!!

  1. Date: 1/22/2013 9:37:00 PM
    This is quite impressive my friend! I am enthralled by the incredible nature of this poem and how you described the old woman in this write is exquisite! I really enjoyed reading this wondrous piece, Great Work!!