In the race between evil
and the good, I ran ahead
to name myself the loser...
Because I know that all my words
can't translate into action...
(maybe half, maybe a quarter)
I'll betray myself in sweet small doses,
until I'm fully poisoned over,
as human nature takes the better portion.
So if I can't be the winner,
I'm a traitor to them both-
I don't want these self-constructed meanings
to belittle the wrongs that graced my future
that made me stronger.
(It has to get messy before it gets neater,
if patterns tell us something)
So I'll let those others
have all the words, however way they want them.
And I'll trade my gold medal
for a day of living,
for just an hour of freedom.