Broke

(This is a fictional poem) I don't have any cigarettes to smoke. I can't get laid because I'm broke. I have no gas so I have to walk wherever I go. I try to take girls out on my bicycle but they keep saying no. I made some home made booze that I tried to sell. But it made the first customer go blind so I went to jail. My cellmate dunked my head in the toilet and gave me a swirly. I thanked God when they let him out early. When I got out of jail, I had no food to eat. I was so hungry that I was nibbling on my own two feet. I'm starving while my neighbor is as big as a cow. I want somebody to either feed or shoot me now.