Breaking Again

normally im the kind of girl that ignores problems but i dont think i can do it anymore i want to cry and scream kick,hit,punch,throw, and scream some more trash my room. something. typical teenager right? no i dont know why im like this why im broken why im hurting but i am i feel like my heart is breaking and i can feel it twisting in my chest waiting for something bad enough to cause it to shatter... i do everything and anything to hold myself together but its getting harder and harder to do... i wrap my arms around myself and wait... i wait to break i wait to hurt i wait to be torn. again because sooner or later, i know its going to happen it always does i count my steps because im so sure that the floor will fall through because thats what im used to and as much as i want to change im left with the questions "who will ever love me? who will ever want me? when will this pain stop? will this ever be over?" and i find myself sitting alone again too scared to move too scared to think too scared to feel anything anything other than fear im scared of falling too far in love because i know im going to get hurt and im going to be broken again...