Barber Shop Talk

Hey, what's up Pete? Same old stuff eh? Alright, lemme swivel this chair around 'n you climb up here. Bout time you come in .You lookin' even worse than usual! Whatzat? Yeah well I look better on my worse day than you do on your best! That's for sure! Lemme knuckle on ta them specs afore ya drop 'em, then you'll be blind as well as ugly! Huh? Well that ain't no way to talk to a fella as complimenting as I am, Pete.Now you want the usual perfect cut like I been doin ya for thirty years? What you mean, like I scalped you last time? One a these days I'll wrap this sheet round your neck tighter'n you'll want me to! How's them kids a yours doin'? Oh yeah, she's the youngest ,right? What?! She finished college already? Hard to believe! And how's the other three?.. ..OH? They all fine and stubborn's ever,eh? Sounds like somebody I know. Howzat? They don't listen to ya anymore eh? Huh! Seem like you always grinding on them kids. Whaddya mean, leave a little on the top? Been years since you had any hair there to leave! . .Now them kids of yours are real special. Now if you want my advice, you'll stop talkin' at those kids and start listnin' to 'em. You done all the talkin you can do. What you mean too much off the side ?! It's perfect, you old goat. Nope,..you gotta listen to them now and watch 'em grow and just be there for 'em. I fought my old man hard. He was at me every second even after I left home. Didn't like it. Didn't do no good at all! What you mean "you can say that again?", you ole pole cat? What? No, never had any kids of my own. Well, that ain't quite true...I never talk about it but me an this lady friend had an affair goin.. and I got her pregnant..Yeah I was pretty dumb and young. We was in a bad way. It was legal an all ...so we aborted that little innocent one. Ain't proud of it. ....Turned out I never could have any kids after that. Tried to. Two marriages ..Dam! ...The only one I coulda had... Well , all done! Let's spin you 'round an see what we got. There! Can't do nothin about the face but the cut is Perfect! What you mean, I oughta pay you?! Here take your specs and don't be runnin off with my sheet you old coot! Now get outa here before I charge you double. Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out! Humph! ..What's that, Pete? Thanks, ole buddy... God bless you too...