Ballad of the Happy Valley Baptist Church

Accordin' to my totally unbiased and very detailed research, Jerimiah Flood pastored the Happy Valley Baptist Church. From the pulpit he flailed his arms as if fightin' a hive of bees, Elicitin' "Hallelujahs" and bringin' sinners fallin' to their knees! His boomin' voice disturbed the peace of those who chose to sleep. Interminable two-hour sermons were tolerated by his faithful flock of sheep. He preached hellfire and damnation and the dire results of sin. He was a'gin any form of gamblin' or dancin' and drinkin' moonshine gin! An all-day meetin' with dinner on the grounds was an annual tradition, A time to repent for sins of commission and omission in order to avoid perdition! Dinner was held under the spreadin' sycamores if the weather allowed. A half-hour blessin' by Jerimiah was normal as hungry stomachs growled! Tables groaned 'neath heaps of fried chicken, baked beans and pertaters, Green bean casseroles and garden fresh stuff includin' beefsteak termaters. Most disturbin' and unknown to the reverend, there was a little tad of booze, Snuck into the gatherin' and surreptitiously shared by old Deacon Hughes! Pastor Flood served the faithful congregation for nigh on forty years, Baptisin', marryin' and buryin' through many happy times and tears. Oh, I failed to mention Sister Lois, ancient organist and director of the choir. Her tea was spiked and she became so inebriated she was invited to retire! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (c) 2014 All Rights Reserved