Babble On

I shave every morning after making love to my wife at night; My beard now drags across the floor. If I had a nickel for every time that I was right, The next time I am right I’ll have one cent more than four. I am so tired I feel beat like a rented mule; Seven days a week I must go to work. Scratch my back with a chain saw and call me a fool; For dropping out of college, I am such a jerk. “Who licked the red off your apple”, is what she asks of me; My mood is always kind of sour; Civility lies buried in the grave with chivalry; My days need another twenty hours. I’d eat a one ton tomato, are the words I thought they sang In that song from many years ago; If the world really did begin with a cosmic blast big bang Then Genesis is fiction, don’t you know. If I had common sense it would be the pamphlet by Thomas Payne; Though the pages would not be too well worn. In a world all gone mad, normalcy makes you insane; The civil contract, politicians have all torn. If you had seen what I saw, you would saw the table in half And crawl out the whole that the two halves now make; If two wrongs make a right then I would be the one with the last laugh As my life is but a series of mistakes.