At Bay

Where do the hours go As night turns to dawn Sleep sits outside this gate It’s there if I’ll let it in With sword and shield I fight to keep it at bay I’ve not known why I just don’t unlock the door Let it come inside And wash over me Until today Until just now Even though we talk Even though I see you Your head isn’t resting On the pillow beside me Leaving your scent behind My covers don’t drape you Your arms aren’t around me Your breath isn’t in my ear Your heartbeat I can’t feel When the sun peeks in The morning after It doesn’t shine on you And again I wake up To only a empty spot That beckons you every night For weeks it’s been this way I never knew why I fought Why I let sleep sit outside Until today Until just now I hold the pillow Because I can’t hold you Your scent no longer lingers The covers lay lifeless No one embraces me The only sound is me breathing Sound of only one heart beating Another morning Another reminder As the sun shines through That you aren’t here If maybe just maybe I talk to you longer Seeing you through a screen Might not make it so hard To wake up in the morning Might not toss and turn Rolling over to feel The absence of you So with sword and shield I will stand guard at the gate Outside sleep will remain Until the day comes Where absence is filled With you next to me at night Then and only then I will put down my shield Surrender my sword And open the gate To let sleep come in Engulf me while in your arms And waking up in the morning To the sun kissing your face Then and only then Will I let sleep in