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Ascending From a Fools Feast

I thought that I could resist you Until you fell down at my feet Seeing those hungry wanting eyes I prayed, my soul you would not eat Now the preacher could not save me As I succumbed to your embrace A feeble man that seemed so strong Would be ensnared by one in lace You made me scream like a baby For I knew that I had a choice A mad quest for carnal pleasures I was enticed by sultry voice Luscious whispering in my ear The simple promise that you made We just had a single evening Yet within my mind you stayed Why couldn't the old preacher heal me when before him my sins were layed Although the pleasure was fleeting The memory of you wouldn't fade All I had was that one photo Of you the girl with wanting eyes I've consumed so many hours A fool holding onto my lies For as the Mercury rises Silver tendrils reach for my hand I'm a man who feasts on famine Cracked hourglasses hold no sand! The preacher revealed my secret My indiscretion was exposed In the end I found my freedom When the chapter of lust was closed! A write for Lyrics II Rob Carmack's Black Crowes Contest Inspired by their song "Descending" A purely fictional write.

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Lynn Marie

Date: 8/22/2016 12:57:00 PM

The language is amazing..so many stand out lines, I would end up "quoting" your entire lyrics.. so suffice to say I absolutely love it :-) You have really captured the desire and thus, the 'after' effect of inner turmoil with great honesty on a topic rarely discussed. Though pure fiction, sadly many in real life succumb to 'self medicating' for so called 'relief' so the last verse is truly soulful 'liberation'. A thoughtful terrific write, I will check out the song. Congrats on the win :-) lynn

Teddy Kimathi

Date: 6/13/2016 7:06:00 AM

Congrats Richard, for your top placement with this awesome piece!! ;-)

Janice Canerdy

Date: 6/12/2016 7:27:00 PM

A 7 for this well-written poem. Congrats on your win, Richard. Janice

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 7:46:00 PM

Thanks Janice. I just posted a new one you might enjoy.

Scott Williams

Date: 6/12/2016 11:39:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. Great job.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 6:49:00 PM

Thanks Scott.

Rob Carmack

Date: 6/11/2016 1:37:00 PM

For a fictional write, sure captures the essence as though you lived it. Many men are easily hooked and worse, most think nothing of it. Very well done Richard. Congrats.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 8:06:00 AM

That is one of the flaws of man, only repentant if he is caught. Thanks for picking this one Rob. I'm glad I made it feel real. I'm glad my mom vouched for me *lol*. If I ever did fool around on my sweetie mom would string me up.

Timothy Hicks

Date: 5/28/2016 9:50:00 PM

Glad that it's fictional ... but there's no doubt that many have fallen victim to this; masterfully done, putting yourself in another man's shoes. I enjoyed the metaphors in your penultimate stanza: "I'm a man who feasts on famine Cracked hourglasses hold no sand!" ... it may feel like a feast, at the time, but it's unsustainable in the long run ...

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/29/2016 8:40:00 AM

I think all of us can be vulnerable if we put ourselves in temptations way. It is best to maintain our vigilance. Thanks for commenting.

Mama Bear

Date: 5/16/2016 10:40:00 AM

You make it sound so real and I know it is fiction Well written and good luck in the contest Love Mom

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/16/2016 9:08:00 PM

I'm glad it was realistic mom. Thankfully I don't have to live with any guilt. Love Rick.

Becca Teagan

Date: 5/12/2016 9:14:00 AM

I like that you wrote this in first person.. and this is a great description of what lust can do. One of my favorite lines is, "A feeble man that seemed so strong Would be ensnared by one in lace" ~~ Very well done.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/13/2016 7:48:00 AM

Hi Becca, I believe that any off us can be ensnared if we put ourselves in compromising situations. For me I value my relationship to highly to put it and myself at risk. Thanks for the great comment.