Anxiety

I plan to spend a weekend with someone whom I adore And yet I sit here panicking of what you have in store You want me to save money instead of spending it for fun Perhaps you have your own plans for me, now what have I done? Anxiety You tell me how my life should be and what other folks should do So when she quit her job I instinctively lied to you I disapprove of her and yet YOUR criticism's what I fear I don't know how to tell you things that you don't want to hear Anxiety Once I lied to you and turned my whole life upside down I was hoping that my secret life could rectify my frown Now the past is in the past but I still fear that you'll leave You'll realize I'm not worth it, now it's your turn to deceive Anxiety I flip-flop back and forth about wanting to reproduce The fear of upsetting you comes from years of your abuse I feel like I am strong enough but how can I be my own When anxiety is all I feel, these feelings are my home Anxiety ____ The Dark Side of Love - Poetry Contest 2/2/16