Alchoholic

Lost inside my head As selfish as can be Three kids to raise And a husband, not seen The attention they deserve Takes second to the drink A drunken mom again tonight Is that what they think Are they embarrassed By the smell from my breath Do they hide me from their friends Do they wish me death In their younger days Just put them to bed Now they are older Seeing me I dread What kind of example Am I setting for these three I never thought in a million years That's the mommy I wld be I try to justify it The day's they drive me crazy Honestly it's an excuse For me being lazy Instead of dealing with the normality Of everyday I hide behind a bottle Just to get away What am I trying a to run from I love my little life I love being a mom And I'm happy being a wife Something deep inside Is missing from my soul And I cannot figure out How to make my heart feel whole My sweet innocent little ones Who have shown me how to love With an unconditional surrender By just looking up above Their eyes sparkle So full of wonder Hearts innocent and pure And then there's me, the mom they love Or at least they did before Before I let the poison bubbly Become part of me I must b stronger from now on And be the mom they need Need and deserve They didn't ask for this I want to be their mommy Don't run from my kiss How? Is the question Do I get back to who I was Before I opened that first drink Just to get a buzz I'm running in a circle How do I break free It feels like alcohol Is a part of me Lost inside my head As selfish as can be Three kids to raise Not to be like me.