She stood at the door, faced with uncertainty and fear
And wished at that point that she could just disappear.
Everyone’s inside already but she hesitates going in.
Praying that this nightmare would soon come to an end .
She doesn’t want to face them and wishes to be alone.
For the first time, she doesn’t feel like she’s at home.
A gentle tap on her shoulder sent cold shivers down her spine
And turns around to smiling faces asking if she was fine.
Why do they keeping asking whether she’s okay.
When they can clearly see that she’s in dismay.
She just buried her soul mate of 15 years.
And nothing can stop the pain or her endless tears.
They try to comfort her but she feels dead inside.
Hoping that time and speed would somehow collide.
All she wants to do is just cry and scream
And wishing that this dreadful day was just a dream.
“Everything went well and the food was great.”
The little conversation that people would make.
“He’s in a better place now and in no more pain”
Was this suppose to make her smile again?
People who never bothered before are now pretending to care
Telling her what to do and not to feel any despair.
But why is that so, why must we hide what we feel
When death is a heartache that will never heal.
It takes time to move on and sometimes longer.
Yet we will be judged by society for not been stronger.
So we put on a fake smile and pretend that everything is okay
Learning to live with the knife pierced in our heart every day.
Alone at last, she lay curled like a child on a bed they shared.
Held his pillow close to her and pictured him there.
She wore his shirt that still had his favorite perfume on.
And silently cried, wishing that he had never gone...