Adult As a Kid

I used to be that girl being disrespectful, wishing that someone would pay me some attention. Waiting at my mom’s job, not knowing I needed my father; Mistaking that need with my friends’ father on my side. Bringing home good grades and making momma proud. Seeing her smile made me smile, but at the same time the truth was I hurt her by being grown, but it was addictive. I thought I was cute, my shirt hanging out, small hoop earrings, and my small little ponytails. Wishing I wasn’t standing with a troubled face & looking scared, but I knew I couldn’t hide it. God said disrespectful kids’ days are shortened, now that guilt stirring inside; - lord knows he told the truth. Surprised now! But who could tell me then I’m not ready for sex, cause now I’m 15, with a permit, school all week, upward bound every Monday, and a boyfriend beside me. My little sisters are here and they’re expecting me to behave properly and lead them on. I’m modeling how to be! They’re modeling after me, inside all I do is cry and complain cause we are products of a failing generation. If it happen that’s life – if it did, forget it! We’re the royal loose family – as good as family matters. As good as it ever get – cause now I’m up in high school. A good girl gone scared: hiding it behind her laughs. How I make them lie! How he looks in my eyes. Stupid decisions: teachers desensitized. I’m grown now, but all I really am is a teen. I need a way to ease my pain without nicotine. I need a way to raise my image up so I shine. And now I’m hiding at the skating rank – group of girls looking for me! Follow me to the fastest way to NO where! I’m bout to try and be the queen and act like I don’t care. They recognize me I walk slowly, my eyes an evil glare. I give them all this hate inside - act like its out of NO where! Its crazy, now I know where. I’m guessing I always did (see yourself teaching) its hard to try and be an adult as a young kid. And all the goodness I live, hard to believe that I did… Its hard to try and be an adult as a young kid!