A Spider Drank Cider

A spider drank cider and was legless at breakfast Now this placid arachnid with a shoddy wee body Asked weevils so evil if they each had a needle Could they just for a joke smoke while they poked At erudite mites with myopic eyesight And bedridden black beetles who bawled noon and night At bow legged bees who could bumble and fumble With wasps that were dishy but got into a tizzy Watching high jumping fleas pee in the sea Beside conniving cockroaches who approached in stagecoaches Near trails of pale snails drinking buckets of ale Sold by charming blow flies wearing spotted bow ties In a dark damp old cellar with an ant storyteller Whose sight had declined until he was blind Who made up strange tales of fat whales with sharp nails That fed on a diet of cat, sprat and rat Carrying small bugs who never gave hugs To horn-tailed yellow midges wearing red tartan breeches And whopper leafhoppers sucking monster gobstoppers So the spider could laugh like a three legged giraffe And begin to grin at the insects chagrin