A Poet's Curse

To write the perfect ode or verse Is inevitably every aspiring poet’s curse To write like the greats of the past Who somehow have managed to last Perhaps as a guide follow Patterson or Shakespeare But wouldn’t this just lead to more confusion and fear I wonder if there is a dummies guide to becoming a poet With a cheesy heading like ‘your poet you just don’t know it’ What would such a book suggest Would it be easy to digest It would probably read Poetry made simple here’s what you need Step 1; it must always rhyme And be kept in time Step 2; create a meaningful flow Which is not too fast or too slow Step3; convey superior knowledge and I.Q. Show a variety of styles perhaps put in a haiku Step 4; capture the readers mind Know when to be cruel and know when to be kind Step 5; make your theme relevant A topic know one knows may be irrelevant Step 6; use a thesaurus It will help you find words similar to porous Step 7; make sure your message is clear When trying to portray terror give the reader fear Step 8; keep your verse short and sweet Keep your writing punctual and neat Step 9; don’t rush, take your time Eventually you’ll find a word to rhyme Step 10; end it with a great line or pun And lastly try to have fun If only creating the perfect verse was such an easy creation We would certainly have a poet filled nation The substance of verse would perhaps be bad Which would make lovers of verse increasingly sad If you need to follow instructions or a list In relation to verse you evidently don’t get the gist Simply write what you feel passionate about Say it softly or say it with a shout Grab pen and paper and feel the space Because with more self expression the world would be a better place This guide to poetry is clearly a joke Follow it and you will unavoidably choke