A Pirates Life For Me- For Contest

Here we are in 1650, which is ten minutes to five swing the wheel to the West, which is left, put your sun cream away, man the mizzen and the stays as we set off for some murder and some theft. You'll find us as your hosts on the sunny Barbary Coast and from there we venture forth to ply our trade we've been out leaving them for dead from the Atlantic to the Med before we skittle off back home our fortunes made With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog and an arrr and some other cliches table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye as a Pirate I will end my days As I previously stated we all get inebriated from our copious imbibing of the grog our excuse is there's no Cola in the bars of Hispaniola which is why we need the hair of the dog With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog and an arrr and some other cliches table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye as a Pirate I will end my days Got a woman in Bermuda and another in Tortuga and they give me lots of lovin' for some coins and although they're very foxy they're just both a pair of doxies which I'm sure explains the rash around me groin With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog and an arrr and some other cliches table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye as a Pirate I will end my days Now we're really no buffoons when it comes down to doubloons and our treasure chests are burstin' at the seams then old Blackbeard started spouting about doing our accounting so I said (before I shot him) 'in your dreams' (ye chorus) As we skirmish the Atlantic I was starting to get frantic since the one thing on my voyage I've always feared is the men who've not been coming for a while across some women have all started wearing lipstick, which is weird (arr, the chorus again) Well it's reached that point me hearties where we anchor down and party so me shipmates here on board I'd like to thank though the mix of food and beer has now given me diarrhea which is why I've made our cook just walk the plank (for thee last time, chorus, arrrr) September 17th 2015, 'A pirate's life for me' contest, sponsor Kelly Deschler (Author's note- there are several spellings of diarrhea, but it doesn't matter, they all have 'arr' in 'em, me hearties)